Dating Sites for Secret Affairs and Married Dating

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Most Popular Choice
9.8
Fancyafling
  • No strings attached affair dating
  • Search for partners based on interests and more
  • Great for a discreet meetup
  • Search in your area or by city
9.6
Lustylocals
  • Great for local arrangements
  • Meetup with singles, couples, or more
  • Discreet for affairs
9.3
Adult Friend Finder
  • Safe, secure, high-quality dating
  • Discreet for affairs in the US
  • Chat, video, and more with singles and couples
  • Filter by interests to find like-minded matches
9.1
OneNightFriend
  • Meet with singles, couples or more
  • No-strings attached sex
  • Privacy and security ensured
  • Hookup with locals across the US
8.7
Shag
  • Hookup with locals for easy sex
  • Discreet services with no commitment
  • Flirt, chat, and more
  • Simple design for easy use
8.4
FriendswithBenefits
  • Great for making casual arrangements
  • Flexible and discreet for married users
  • Chat, message, and enjoy camshows
  • Easy to use locally or while away
8.1
C-Date
  • Fast matching with eager users
  • Discreet, reliable, and safe to use
  • Arrange with singles, couples, or groups
  • Chat, webcam, video, and more
7.7
Maturedates
  • Find dates with mature married people
  • Excellent for discreet local hookups
  • Easy-to-use chat and messaging

Looking for different dating sites?

What are the best affair dating sites?

You will find married dating sites like Ashley Madison that let you search an extensive database of like-minded people seeking affairs, with the aim of finding a discreet and confidential way of having a short-term, illicit affair. 

The best services are free to register, have a solid security and anonymity strategy, a working matching or messaging system and give you the opportunity to meet up with your matches.
Popular affair dating sites:

1. Ashley Madison

Ashley Madison logo

With estimated 22.000 new members per day, AM is one of the largest and fastest growing dating sites for affairs in the world. 

Aiming at the casual dating niche, Ashley Madison has well thought out features like the travelling man where you can match with women on your holidays or business trips to other cities.

The company has created a great community for cheating and casual sex. To get the best out of it you will need to sign up for a premium package but that will secure your access to and success with lusty women. 

After the data breach in 2015, Ashley Madison acquired more 32 mio new users and improved considerably their security system.

You may encounter some fake accounts, no dating service is safe from scammers. But the subscription system will keep them in charge, as scammers rarely pay for services.

2. AdultFriendFinder

AdultFriendFinder logo

With more than 20 years experience in the affair dating world, AdultFriendFinder is one of the greatest married affair sites in the US and world wide. It doesn’t beat about the bush, it is coming straight to the point of having sex dates and hookups. 

Members communicate through simple messages, which, however, are already associated with additional costs. In addition, there is the chance to enter into a spontaneous written chat with other members.

Using the live video-option is highly appreciated by exhibitionists that can save some money as you get features for free, if you are exposing yourself in a seductive manner.

That is one reason why AFF is so popular among sex-hungry lovers and married people. The solid service has its price but the gold-membership lifts you up in the ranks of couples and singles who seriously look for theesomes and other adventurous sexual encounters. Being open-minded is a must on this casual site.

3. Victoria Milan

Victoria Milan logo

More than 6 million users are on the growing platform for affairs and causal encounters. Anonymity VMhighest priority, right after delivering the right matches for affairs and one night stands.

VMs layout is pleasant and glossy. VM provides a fast registration service and simple yet elegant site navigation. You will need a paid subscription to message with any men and women in order to meet for erotic adventures.

The subscriptions necessary to take advantage of all VictoriaMilan features are available for a minimum of one month. If you decide to take a longer membership of up to 12 months, you can reduce the relative costs.

The Anonymizer tool makes Victoria Milan even more discreet to use and therefore particularly convenient for people who are married but looking for casual encounters.
Victoria Milan has an app available for iOS & Android, the mobile version of the homepage is a second, optimized variant.

4. C-Date

C-date logo at the bottom and a couple making out

The registration at C-Date is free of charge and takes place via your e-mail address, which you have to verify after registration.

You can also characterize yourself by specifying your erotic type. You have the possibility to add 5 pieces to your profile from over 80 presets. C-Date determines your erotic type from your 5 preferences.

During the registration you will also be asked about your relationship status and your appearance. We can only recommend you to be honest here, so that there are no disappointments afterwards. Because a profile picture is also essential for a successful dating.

Estimated 500,000 British users have registered with C-Date. In total, more than 36 million people of all ages flirt on the world’s largest fling portal.

According to C-Date’s customer service, 25,000 new registrations are added daily. Due to the balanced gender ratio of 52% / 48% (men / women), the prospects for a date are good for single men.

dating sites for married people who want to have an affair

Most other online platforms like Tinder and Zoosk cater solely for singles who want anything from casual dating to serious relationships.

On sex dating sites, you can be honest about being attached, and when you embark on a liaison with another hitched person there’s that mutual understanding that secrecy is vital.

How to choose the right affair sites for married dating?

You can meet and interact with other married or attached people in your area who want to have an affair by searching dating profiles based on gender, age, height and weight.

One important part of the selection is an attractive operating structure. Is the site visually appealing, how many members does it have and what is its reputation?

These factors form the foundation of your choice of the right platform for affairs. If you have narrowed down your selection, you should try registering with different providers and test them for free.

You can also search profiles based on the type of casual encounter you’re looking for, with options ranging from Something Short Term, to Undecided. As members use the site for casual hookups, you won’t find many filtering by personality or specific interests.

Ideal for those looking to meet someone outside of their relationship when they’re on holiday or travelling on a business trip, you can also choose to connect with people from a certain area.

Online services for married men and women promise discretion, and you’ll find some also give advice on how to get the most effective results out of your romance. Check our rankings and reviews to identify the best married dating websites for you.

Free to download, you can also use extramarital apps to find other attached members. It will often offer all of the same features as the desktop version, but has easy-to-use swipe technology and means you can conveniently search and browse profiles wherever you go.

Quick and easy registration

You’ll find most of the online dating services for those looking for extra-marital affairs have a simple sign-up process, and let you add as much or as little to your profile as you want to. When you register, you’ll also be asked to upload a profile picture.

On some sites, there are extra editing functions on your profile picture. You’ll be given the option to blur the picture or mask parts of your face to give you added anonymity.

Trusting the affair site

You need to make sure that you trust the online site you’re using, and that it has measures in place to safeguard you against fake profiles and scams. This is particularly important with an affair service, as naturally there is a need for a privacy policy.

Most offer a discreet way to connect, even on credit card statements.

Paying for those extras

Although it’s free to join most married dating US sites, there are limited options for free users. To access certain features, you’ll need to upgrade to a premium membership.

You can expect the messaging service on a majority of sites to be free for women. Yet in the interests of online safety, if you’re a man who wants to initiate or take part in online chat with a woman, you will usually need to buy credits.

There are different premium packages and add-ons you can choose from, and discreet dating sites often offer discounted prices if you decide to upgrade for a longer length of time. It’s worth noting that credit cards are discreetly billed, so there’ll be no mention of the online service on your credit card statements.

Some sites even have a ‘panic button’, which lets you automatically switch to another site in case you’re caught browsing profiles unexpectedly.

What are the benefits & downsides of married dating?

Pros of affair dating sites:

  • No commitment required

Everyone who joins a niche extramarital service is aware of the intentions of other members, so there’s no expectations or confusion. It removes the dishonesty that can occur when joining other mainstream websites.

  • Excitement and discretion

You’ll be able to browse and search member profiles to find someone you’d like to have a liaison with, based on certain criteria that you find important. You get to connect with people you wouldn’t normally get to meet, which ensures privacy and discretion for your peace of mind.

  • Avoiding divorce

The most common reason people have a fling is for sexual intercourse. If a lack of intimacy with your husband or wife is an issue, dating someone who’s married means you can easily explore discreet encounters elsewhere without having to leave your partner.

A flirtation can sometimes rekindle a marriage, making a wedded man or woman feel more confident and self-assured.

There can be a new determination to make it work and to deal with the issues that led someone to look elsewhere and to confront any marital problems.

For more advice check our tips and guides for married dating!

An affair has not only benefits, especially for people who are dating out of loneliness, sex dates can have downsides and even hurt emotionally:

  • You will maybe not be prioritized by your lover. You both are free to choose to stay with each other and decide in which direction you go.

  • The affair can end without an explanation, the lack of emotional responsibility towards each other can hurt both of you in different ways.

  • If dating a married man or a married woman, you should realize that they most likely will not leave their relationship and family for you.

  • You will have no partner in crime. Your mistress/affair will probably skip events like weddings, funerals and so on, you’ll have to find someone else to go with.

Our tips & rules for successful affairs

When you’re in a long-term relationship or marriage, it’s common to have fantasies about cheating. It’s also predictable that as relationships progress, the frequency of sexual encounters between a couple will fade.
We collected our top rules for successful affairs:

  • Be charming and seductive but come to the point, you are on an affair dating site. There is no need for further explanations.
  • No documentation, no letters, no messages on your own smartphone, use a second phone.
  • No physical evidence. Check your body for sex marks and other affair related changes in your apperance.
  • No L-word. Don’t use the big word in an affair. If you want to fall in love with someone, you are better off on serious dating sites.
  • Be reliable. Don’t be late and don’t cancel your sex date in the last minute.
  • Treat your affair as if they are the only person you sleep with. Never mention other lovers.

If you follow through with our tips for having a marital affair when you’re attached, it can often become a lot more complicated than you first imagined.

Why are so many people using affair dating sites?

Offering a discreet way to connect, when you sign up and use an extramarital mobile app and site in the US you can enjoy married dating and no-strings affairs without any of the domestic fallout and the need to divorce your life partner, this is the main factor for most people to use an online service for affairs.

Although divorce has lost much of its social stigma, hitched couples stay together for a number of different reasons like finances, stability, and children.

When we take this into account, it could be argued that infidelity can sometimes help to preserve a relationship.

With this in mind and the overall liberation of different sexual lifestyles and values, it is no surprise that liaisons on affair apps are on the rise.

FAQ: Having an affair

Are you considering having an affair? Check out the advice below so you can have a positive experience with your lover(s) and, ideally, avoid getting caught.

How can I have an affair online?

You can easily have an affair online by using one of the dating options we’ve selected for you on this page. All the services mentioned here are designed to help people start affairs discreetly. Each service has unique features to help you find the right lover or mistress.

Where is the best place to have an affair?

The best place to have an affair is online. You can conveniently chat with someone and in some cases talk and see each other over video. As long as you can find a private time and place to connect, you can safely enjoy your lover’s company, virtually at least.

If you want to meet in person, you want to find a space where you and your lover(s) feel safe and comfortable. The ideal location will also depend on the level of trust between everyone involved. 

So whether you’re meeting at someone’s home or in a hotel room you’ve booked by the hour, make sure you feel good about where you meet for your affair.

How to avoid getting caught

To avoid getting caught, you need to have a good understanding of your primary relationship. Ask yourself what your main partner’s insecurities are. Those will be the areas you will need to watch out for, in terms of leaving unintended clues. 

The next question you need to ask yourself, to avoid getting caught, is how far you are willing to go when it comes to deception. You will want to craft layers of plausible deniability. This means you need to be able to explain away any indication of your affair with conviction.

Be aware of what information you might be leaving behind on your phone or computer that could be found by a jealous husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend. Many of the services listed on this page will have unique features that help you cover your tracks.

We also wrote reviews for the following dating sites